


Five Things That Never Happened to Rachel (and one that did)

by Poetry



Series: Things That Never Happened [4]
Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Dark, Drabble Sequence, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Judaism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 03:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4650549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetry/pseuds/Poetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five moments from a life where Rachel made a terrible choice early in the war, and one moment from the life where she left the choice to the very end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things That Never Happened to Rachel (and one that did)

**1.**   
  
«Two minutes remain,» Ax says privately.  
  
«Please,» David begs. «It has to be two hours now. I can’t do anything to you. Just kill me. I’d rather be dead.»  
  
“What would you do, Ax?” asks Rachel. “If he were an Andalite warrior. Begging you.”  
  
«I would end it swiftly, and call it a mercy.»  
  
“Mercy. That’s what Cassie called this.” And then she walked away.   
  
Rachel waits. Ax nods. She opens the jar, holds David in her fist, his head and neck exposed. “Do it,” she tells Ax.   
  
«Thank you,» David whispers, before he fountains blood all over her fist.  
  
 **2.**  
  
«Don’t tell Jake,» Rachel tells Ax as they fly back to Santa Barbara.   
  
«I must. A child is dead. Even a treachorous child deserves death rites.»  
  
«If you tell him, he’ll tell Cassie. She planned all of this so we wouldn’t kill him. She thought it would… taint us.»  
  
«Her plan would have tainted us worse.»  
  
«I know. But none of them were there for those two hours. They wouldn’t understand. What if they say we’re murderers?»  
  
A long pause. Rachel adds, «Let’s just have our own funeral for him, okay?»  
  
Finally, Ax says, «Very well. Tomorrow, in the woods.»  
  
 **3.**   
  
The next day, Rachel makes a pile of stones in front of a tree, while Ax pours water from a jug around its base.  
  
She sits cross-legged in front of the pile. “ _V’yitgadal v’yitgadash…_ ”  
  
Ax’s tail flashes, carving unreadable symbols into the tree bark.   
  
Rachel chants, and finishes, “ _Oseh shalom be’imromah hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu ve’al kol yisrael ve’al kol yoshvei tevel, ve’imru amen._ ” She looks up at Ax’s work. “What does it mean?”  
  
«”He grows anew with this tree.” What does yours mean?»  
  
“May the people of Israel – my people – and all the people of the world, have peace.”  
  
 **4.**   
  
“I’m mourning him,” says Cassie. “Even though he isn’t dead.”  
  
“Might as well be,” Rachel mumbles. “What kind of life is that? Trapped as a rat.”  
  
“When I thought I was trapped as a butterfly, I accepted it. I realized that that life would have to be enough.”  
  
“You shouldn’t have,” Rachel says. “You deserve better than that.”  
  
“I know. But at the time, it was all I had. Maybe David can learn to…”  
  
He wouldn’t have been able to accept it. Cassie had to know that as well as Rachel. But Rachel was never good at lying to herself.  
  
 **5.**  
  
After the war, Cassie gets a letter from Erek. _For Cassie, from Rachel. Open after it’s over._  
  
 _I’m giving you this because you’d do it best. David’s parents deserve to know what happened to him, if they’re still alive._  
  
 _Tell them I killed him. It’s the truth. Tell them it’s the only thing I could do. Don’t lie about this. You weren’t there._  
  
 _I don’t care if they tell the media. Don’t stop them._  
  
 _I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I needed you to believe I wasn’t a total monster._  
  
 _Remember that I chose this death. I love you._  
  
 **(+1)**  
  
After the war, Cassie gets a letter from Erek. _For Cassie, from Rachel. Open after it’s over._  
  
 _I’m giving you this because you’d do it best. David’s parents deserve to know what happened to him, if they’re still alive._  
  
 _Tell them I killed him. I did it that night he came back. You can skip the part about what you did. I’m dead. It doesn’t matter if they think I’m a monster. Let them blame me for all of it._  
  
 _Tell them it was mercy, if it helps. Maybe it’s true._  
  
 _Remember that I chose this death. I love you._


End file.
